When I was growing up, my granny told me, “just because someone else is acting a fool, that’s not your invitation to join them. She went one to advise that “they” would not get in trouble with her, but I would.
Granny empowered me with self-awareness. I understood then that I was master of self and accountable to myself and (at that time and perhaps more importantly)-her. Fast forward to today, I impart quite a few of granny’s lesson through my practice of strategic life coaching.
This week’s lesson is no exception. We are going to talk about positive change by utilizing some previously taught soft skills. Specifically, let’s use self-knowledge, awareness, and memory to manifest positive and productive change. You have all the tools you need to evolve for the better, but I add some mavens 101 strategy and resources. Let’s go.
Positive thoughts, words, and actions lead to positive happenings and interactions, which lead to healthy self-esteem and self-development. Evolve for the better with these tricks and tips to turn negative into positive habits from Mavens 101, Strategic Coach Geneen.
The Mavens 101 steps to changing negative into positive habits are:
Step 1: Identify the desired change
Step 2: Track what, why, when, and how
Step 3: Change place, space, actions
Step 4: Remind, Reward, Reinforce
Step 5: Continue evolving
Identify the Desired Change
Use your self-awareness practice to tune into how your actions impact you and how they are received or perceived by others. I mean, if you did not get invited to this year’s party, maybe your habit of critiquing the food on blast was not well received. Overall, any practice, trait, or behavior that does not serve your life, goals, purpose, or growth needs to be changed for your better.
Track What, Why, When, and How
Now is the time to download a mavens 101 life strategy tool. Download the Mavens 101 Change Tracker. Keep track of what, why, when, and how. With this tool, you will write down what you want to change, why you want to change, when you are triggered, and how you plan to flip the habit to a positive and/or productive behavior.
Understand and Internalize Why.
Change needs to be self-motivated for self-evolution. Meaning, you can’t change for anyone else. So instead of “I want to change, so people will view me as a good guest,” your reason could be: “I want to change because I genuinely don’t want to offend anyone.” Whatever the reason, it should be for self-development, growth, and happiness. Write down your “why” on your change tracker.
Like any good strategy, you need an audit. Take note of your environment, note outside factors that may trigger or provoke your unwanted habit. This step is not a blame game, but an exercise in self-reflection. On your tracker, note these triggers – Environmental, social, and/or virtual.
You may need to break your negative behaviors into smaller deeds or actions. For example, if you pinpoint your meat consumption as a habit you wish to change, start going meatless 1-2x per week and gradually increase the meatless meals.
Change your place and space.
If your environment negatively impacts you, start to remove yourself from the people, places, or things that adversely influence your behavior. For instance, filter counterproductive news or accounts from your social media feed. Furthermore, if a negative mindset plagues you, it is time to put yourself into a better headspace. In this instance, you might flip a negative thought, statement, or feeling into something more positive. For example, you might decide that even though an event is not what you were expecting, you are going to get the most out of the experience.
Replace negative actions with positive actions.
Decide what positive action better serves your purpose then replace it accordingly. For example, if you want to stop being overly critical. The next time you have a negative critique that you wish to share, stop and replace that critique with a compliment. While you may not like one thing, you can find another to compliment.
Remind, Reward, Reinforce
Review your tracker.
Remember why you are making your desired change. Use your intrapersonal skills and think about how great it felt the first time you circumvented negativity. Remember that you may backslide; forgive yourself, and reward yourself for continuing your evolution.
Reward yourself for each milestone.
Try rewarding yourself with something that furthers your path to positivity, such as a new hobby, self-care routine, or book.
Continue to remind and reinforce with self-affirmations.
Tell yourself that you can change and that you are worthy of positivity. Practice more affirmations here.
Seek external reinforcement.
Just as you removed adverse environments, surround yourself with who and what is ideal for bettering yourself. Positivity begets positivity; find positive people to boost your shine and actively seek to expand theirs. By the way, contribution is a basic human need and a great way to foster positivity.
Practice makes progress. Continue changing for the better- day by day and situation by situation.