Self-Esteem is the internal self-critique based on life stages, happenings, and exposure—furthermore, the feelings associated with your self-critique meld into your self-esteem.
The key to maintaining healthy Self-Esteem (not over or under-inflated) is to continue to hone your intrapersonal intelligence skills, such as self-knowledge and self-awareness.
Healthy Self-Esteem leads to positive life choices; you do what is best for yourself when you value yourself.
So let’s walk through ways to bolster and maintain your self-esteem.
Learn to say NO
Value yourself enough to say establish boundaries, which saying no does. Unlearn that saying no will damage others and what others think of us.
Not only does saying no establish boundaries, but it also empowers you. Every time you say no to something that does not serve you or your spirit, you validate your self-worth and therefore reinvest in your self-esteem. Not comfortable with the word no? Try: No, thank you.
Don't Internalize Criticisms
Don’t take criticism personally. Constructive feedback from trusted sources is essential to take to heart and adjust traits accordingly. But keep in mind that feedback is on qualities, and no one’s qualities are fixed.
Take things a step further by differentiating feedback between trusted and untrusted sources.
Think about it. You go on a couple of dates, and an individual decides to share some observations on your character. This behavior is akin to writing a book review after reading the preface. Would you listen to someone’s opinion on a book who did not actually read the book? Why listen and internalize what this person has to say about you? They know of you; they don’t know you and are therefore unqualified to tell you anything about you.
When faced with feedback from those unqualified to give, simply say no thank you and move on.
Our thoughts become our words; our words become our actions. All three become embedded into our character. Accept that you are imperfect, and love yourself for it.
Anytime you start to say something negative about yourself, flip that language into something more positive and productive. For example, don’t call yourself stupid after making an error or say that it was a foolish thing you did. It was neither. Try commenting on what you got out of it or the lesson you learned from it.
Change Your Mindset
One of the best ways to start to look at yourself more positively is to change the way you think overall. Remember, nothing is stagnant. Everything is adjustable, and every new second is an opportunity to change for the better. Read more about growth mindsets click the link below.
Affirm Your Esteem
Saying affirmations is a positive habit that helps build healthy self-esteem & reinforces self-confidence. How? You are what you say, so speak to yourself, knowing that every word and sentence is a reinvestment into yourself. Try the self-worth and boastful affirmations in those times; you need to remind yourself that you are wonderful and nothing and no one can change that fact.
Get Rid of Toxic Relationships
A toxic relationship is:
- A relationship that drains you taking too much effort and provides little to no joy in return.
- Abusive, including physically, mentally, verbally, and financially.
- A relationship in which you feel undermined, unsupported, and quite often overly competitive.
These can be relationships with friends, family, or partners, bosses, etc.
Value yourself enough to remove yourself from such relationships. Keep in mind that an explanation is not always needed and quite often unnecessary. A toxic person knows what they are doing; you don’t need to tell them and feed their beast. Sometimes walking away is the only and best thing you can do.
Recognize Your Strengths
Make a list of all the ways you prosper. If you need a little help, ask trusted sources. In making this list, you are creating actionable affirmations.
Make Yourself Proud
After you have made your list of strengths, think of ways you can amplify your strengths. Use those strengths to change things for the better, either within yourself or within your community. Challenging yourself to elevate yourself creates healthy self-esteem by understanding that there are always opportunities for growth and making life better for yourself and others.
Nurture Your Positive Relationships
Just as you reinvest into your esteem, invest in those who help you foster positivity. Take the time to return and express gratitude for the good ones. Think of those individuals in your life who provide sustenance in quality conversation, experiences, support you, and foster your growth. Make your list, name your squad, and continue to build momentum and pour your gratitude into that team.
Take Care of Yourself
Your wellness ties to your self-esteem. How you feel and look feed into how you look at yourself. Schedule the time to take care of yourself inside and out. Groom yourself to your liking. Work out knowing the endorphins will propel you to feel great and do more. Meditate to understand that your mind, body, and soul need the respite and realignment for clarity and purpose. Know those unhealthy behaviors may seem easy in the short term, but they are pervasive and permeate for the long haul. Flip them to positive, healthy habits and keep your natural sunshine to maintain healthy self-esteem.